Reposting this story from December 2014…

This week, Claire performed a time-honored Kid Tradition. She flipped through catalogs and circled things she wanted for Christmas.

It was pretty cute. And I figured, “Hey, I’m killing two birds. She’s occupied AND and I’m getting some insight about her ‘Wish List.'”

Then she handed the catalogs back to me.

Let’s take a look at her Wish List, shall we?

The first circled item I saw was this:

A biometric scanner for her bedroom door. Because, you know, hoards of ne’er-do-wells are constantly ambushing her room.

“No way,” I said. “This thing has some loud alarm. It’s going to drive everyone nuts.”

“But people are breaking into my room to get my candy!” she said.

“What?” I said, feigning shock. I know for a fact that Jack, Kate and I have all broken into her room on separate occasions to steal candy.

Even MORE reason not to get this biometric scanner.

OK, what’s next on the Wish List? Look! A little toy vacuum!

Cute. But you know what? There’s a REAL vacuum in the closet and you can use it ANYTIME YOU WANT.

Next!

The next thing I saw was something called a “Huggle Pod.” (What??) And she hadn’t circled just one, she’d circled them all.

I tried to imagine Jack’s reaction if we filled our backyard with Huggle Pods.

Of course, a kid can get awfully sick and tired of lying around in a Huggle Pod all day. Which is why Claire evidently needs a hammock.

But at some point you’ve done enough lounging, right? You’re ready to be ACTIVE. YES! You are ready to… have someone push you in a hammock/pod swing.

Oh, good idea, Claire. Let’s get two swings.

To hell with it. Three!

And TWO seesaws…

AND A ZIPLINE.

Whew! I’m not sure how we’ll cram all that stuff in with the Huggle Pod farm, but Dad will figure it out.

“Hold on, Adrienne,” you say. “What about stuff for inside the house? What does Claire want to play with inside?”

Oh, I’m glad you asked. Her wants are modest.

She’s only asking for a Sit-On Pinto Horse…

a foosball table…

a snack bar…

a baby grand piano…

a jungle gym…

an inflatable space shuttle…

and a merry-go-round.

I have no words.

Except this: That mini vacuum is suddenly looking a lot better.