Reposting this story from December 2014…
This week, Claire performed a time-honored Kid Tradition. She flipped through catalogs and circled things she wanted for Christmas.
It was pretty cute. And I figured, “Hey, I’m killing two birds. She’s occupied AND and I’m getting some insight about her ‘Wish List.'”
Then she handed the catalogs back to me.
Let’s take a look at her Wish List, shall we?
The first circled item I saw was this:
A biometric scanner for her bedroom door. Because, you know, hoards of ne’er-do-wells are constantly ambushing her room.
“No way,” I said. “This thing has some loud alarm. It’s going to drive everyone nuts.”
“But people are breaking into my room to get my candy!” she said.
“What?” I said, feigning shock. I know for a fact that Jack, Kate and I have all broken into her room on separate occasions to steal candy.
Even MORE reason not to get this biometric scanner.
OK, what’s next on the Wish List? Look! A little toy vacuum!
Cute. But you know what? There’s a REAL vacuum in the closet and you can use it ANYTIME YOU WANT.
Next!
The next thing I saw was something called a “Huggle Pod.” (What??) And she hadn’t circled just one, she’d circled them all.
I tried to imagine Jack’s reaction if we filled our backyard with Huggle Pods.
Of course, a kid can get awfully sick and tired of lying around in a Huggle Pod all day. Which is why Claire evidently needs a hammock.
But at some point you’ve done enough lounging, right? You’re ready to be ACTIVE. YES! You are ready to… have someone push you in a hammock/pod swing.
Oh, good idea, Claire. Let’s get two swings.
To hell with it. Three!
And TWO seesaws…
AND A ZIPLINE.
Whew! I’m not sure how we’ll cram all that stuff in with the Huggle Pod farm, but Dad will figure it out.
“Hold on, Adrienne,” you say. “What about stuff for inside the house? What does Claire want to play with inside?”
Oh, I’m glad you asked. Her wants are modest.
She’s only asking for a Sit-On Pinto Horse…
a foosball table…
a snack bar…
a baby grand piano…
a jungle gym…
an inflatable space shuttle…
and a merry-go-round.
I have no words.
Except this: That mini vacuum is suddenly looking a lot better.
Oh my dear God!! I’m dying here ??? What ARE these things?? An inflatable space shuttle! Don’t show that one to my boys!! Hahaha… Best of luck with your HugglePod Farm! (Also, I want to know why the hammock has small parts that might be inhaled!)
Lol! That’s so funny about the hammock!
My daughter is 9 we received the same magazine a while back, I swear she circled the exact same things… the exact same items! Where am I going to put a zip line? 5 Hubble pods? She was one step ahead. She drew a diagram of not only our backyard but the neighbors yards to demonstrate where all of these items will now go. Santa did not bring any of these lovely toys.
Oh, that’s fantastic!!
The *neighbor’s yard* too?!? Hahahahahaha
Hugglepod? Space pod? Same thing!
And $5.00 for a HOT DOG????? Better be a REALLY good hot dog. Like a Nathan’s dog with everything…EVERYTHING!
I know!!!
OMG ? I’m so old I remember being so happy when I got my Barbie Town house & etch-a-sketch…my,my, how times & toys have changed since the 70’s….wow?
Barbie townhouse and Etch-a-Sketch! Love it!
One of my daughters once asked for an MRI machine for Christmas. I kid you not. That set the bar pretty high in our house for unreasonable gift requests. We had to explain just how much room it takes up and how our house’s floors couldn’t bear the weight. (Cost didn’t factor in because Santa makes his own, right?) I think she was 8.
Oh my gosh, that is outstanding!
I’d love the zipline.
me to
This is probably the funniest thing I’ve ever read!